What Sextortion Is — And How to Talk to Your Kid About It Before It Happens
Picture this: your teenager has been chatting with someone new online for a few weeks. The person seems kind, interested, maybe even attractive. They pay attention to your kid in a way that feels genuine. Then one day, things escalate — they ask for a photo. Maybe your child shares one. And then the messages change completely.
“Pay me or I’ll send this to everyone at your school.”
That’s sextortion. And it’s happening to Canadian kids right now.
What the Pattern Actually Looks Like
Sextortion usually follows a recognisable path, even if the details vary. Someone — often posing as a peer, a romantic interest, or a new friend — connects with a young person online. They’re warm, attentive, and move quickly. Within days or weeks, they build what feels like a real relationship.
Eventually they ask for an intimate image. Sometimes they send a fake one first, to make it feel mutual and safe. Once they have a photo or video from your child, the tone shifts immediately. Now they’re making a demand: money, more images, or both. And the threat is precise — they’ll send the image to your child’s friends, family, or school.
These scammers often work in organised groups. They are not lonely individuals — they run this as a business, targeting multiple young people at once. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC) received 108,878 fraud reports in 2024, and sextortion cases involving minors are among the most distressing categories they see. Similar patterns are reported globally.
Why Kids Don’t Tell You
Here’s the part that matters most: most kids who experience this say nothing.
Not because they don’t want help. Because they’re terrified of what happens if they ask for it.
They worry you’ll take their phone. That you’ll think they’re stupid for sharing the image. That you’ll be angry, disappointed, or that they’ll lose the trust they’ve worked to build with you. Some worry the scammer is right — that if they tell, everything will get worse.
So they try to manage it alone. Some pay. Some send more images. Some are so overwhelmed they can’t function.
The silence is the scammer’s biggest tool. And the only thing that breaks it is a parent who has already said: you will not be in trouble.
How to Open the Conversation Before Something Happens
You don’t need to sit your child down for a formal talk. You don’t need to use scary words or statistics. In fact, the more low-key you make this, the better it tends to land.
The goal is to plant one idea: if someone online ever makes you feel scared or uncomfortable, I’m the person to come to — and you won’t be punished for it.
Here are some actual words you can use:
If your child is 8–12: “Sometimes people online pretend to be friendly and then ask kids to do things that feel weird or scary. If that ever happens to you, even if you already did something you weren’t supposed to, you can tell me. You won’t get in trouble.”
If your child is 13–17: “I’ve been reading about something called sextortion — where someone builds a fake friendship online, gets a photo, and then threatens to share it. It’s more common than most people realise and it’s designed to make kids feel trapped. If anything like that ever happened to you, I want you to know you can come to me. My first reaction won’t be anger — it’ll be ‘how do we fix this.’”
You can say it once, naturally. You don’t need a response. You’re planting a door that stays open.
If It’s Already Happening
If your child does come to you — or if you discover it some other way — keep your reaction calm. Tell them directly: “I’m not angry at you. This is not your fault. These people do this professionally.”
Do not delete any messages. Screenshots are important for reporting. Contact the CAFC at antifraudcentre.ca or by phone at 1-888-495-8501. You can also report to local police and to the platform where contact was made. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection (cybertip.ca) also accepts reports involving minors.
One Thing to Do
This week, find a quiet moment and tell your child: “If anyone online ever makes you feel scared or pressured, you can always come to me — and you won’t be in trouble.”
That’s it. One sentence. It might be the most important thing you say all year.