What “Public” vs. “Private” Accounts Actually Means — And Why It Matters for Your Family
A lot of parents assume their child’s account is private because the content seems appropriate — no provocative photos, nothing concerning in the bio. But “private” isn’t a vibe. It’s a setting. And on most platforms, the default is public.
Understanding what these settings actually do — and don’t do — is more useful than a blanket rule. This is especially true with teenagers, who are more likely to engage with a decision they were part of making.
What “Public” Actually Means
When an account is set to public, it means:
- Anyone on the internet can see every post, video, or story the account shares
- Anyone can see the full list of followers and who the account follows
- The account may appear in search results — on the platform and sometimes on Google
- Anyone can send a direct message or comment (depending on other settings)
- The account can be viewed without logging in — including by people who aren’t on the platform at all
“Public” doesn’t mean your child is posting anything problematic. It means their audience is unlimited. A post tagged with their school name or neighbourhood, combined with a visible follower list of classmates, combined with regular posts that give a sense of their daily routine — together, that’s a detailed picture of a specific person’s life that anyone can see.
What “Private” Actually Means — Platform by Platform
Instagram: A private account means only approved followers can see posts and stories. However, the profile picture, username, bio, and follower/following counts are still visible to everyone. If your child has their school, neighbourhood, or age in their bio, that information is public regardless of account privacy.
Reels are treated differently — if a private-account user shares a Reel, there are circumstances under which it can appear in public-facing recommendations. This is a known inconsistency that Meta has not fully resolved.
TikTok: A private account on TikTok means only approved followers can see videos. However, TikTok is built around discovery — its algorithm actively surfaces content to non-followers. If your child’s account was set up as public and then switched to private, older videos that were previously public may have been cached or shared by others.
For users under 16, TikTok’s default settings are more restrictive, but only if the account was created with an accurate birthdate.
Snapchat: Snapchat works differently because its core function is disappearing messages between friends. But the “Stories” feature — where snaps are posted for a period of time — can be set to “Everyone,” “My Friends,” or a custom list. Many users have their Snap Map (location sharing) active without realising it falls under separate settings from their account privacy.
Why Teens Often Want Public Accounts
This is worth understanding rather than dismissing.
For teenagers who make content — videos, art, photography, commentary — a public account is the difference between making something for twenty people and making something for potentially thousands. Engagement is genuinely motivating. The feedback loop of comments, likes, and new followers is real.
Even for teens who aren’t content creators, a public account means being discoverable to people outside their immediate friend group — which at 15 or 16 can feel important to social identity.
Telling a teenager to make everything private without acknowledging these motivations will either create resentment or get silently reversed. A more durable conversation is one that starts with: “I get why you want a public account. Help me understand what you’re hoping for with it, and let’s figure out what makes sense.”
The Actual Conversation to Have
You don’t need to know every platform setting by heart before talking to your child. In fact, asking your child to explain the settings is a better approach than explaining them yourself.
“Show me what happens when your account is public — who can see what?” gives your teenager agency in the conversation and often surfaces nuance you wouldn’t have found otherwise.
From there, you can talk through specific details rather than the abstract idea of privacy. Not “you shouldn’t have a public account” but “I noticed your bio has your school name in it — did you know that’s visible to anyone?”
The goal is for them to understand what they’re choosing, not just to follow a rule.
One Thing to Do
Look up the privacy settings on the social platform your child uses most — together, if possible — and ask them to explain what each setting does.
You might learn something. And the conversation that comes out of it is worth more than any setting you could change on your own.